If you’ve been through a bad breakup, this blog series is for you.
If you’ve never dated before, this blog series is for you.
If you’re newly single, this blog series is for you.
If you’re married, this blog series is specially for you.
If you’re a single who’s waiting to get married some day, this blog is for you.
If you’re a single who intends to never get married, this blog is for you.
If you’re looking for how to get out of a bad relationship, this blog series is for you.
How to be happily single? When asked to explain individuality, the word singleness/single comes to mind.
Listen I’ve been single all my life and I’ve meant some miserable singles. It sucks watching them pine over things they can’t control. Especially we ladies. You’re not going to court yourself. A man must be man enough to approach you and ask you out.
If no man has done that yet or if one unsuitable person has done it and you rejected them then you’re in a situation that you can’t force yourself out of. If God doesn’t bring that man to you soon, it’s best if you learn how to be happily single. You can’t be miserable until the man of your dreams (if he exists) finds you.
I’m telling you, some of us even doubt if that will ever happen so we learnt the best thing there is that is being happy with just us. The earlier you learn this the better. Because even after the right man finds you and you say yes to him he’s not going to be with you everywhere. There are times when you’ll be alone and you’ll have to enjoy your own company.
If you didn’t learn that earlier on while you were single that’s the ‘a thousands ways to becoming a clingy girlfriend’ for you. You don’t want to be that girl. Trust me, you don’t. Here’s 10 steps on how to be happily single. As I write this, Mr. Right hasn’t found me yet which means I’m sharing things that have worked for me. I think I can ably brag that I am the happiest single there is on planet earth.
I’ve never dated in all 25 years of my life. I don’t know whether I’ll ever date though because like I said Mr. Right hasn’t found me yet. ‘He who finds a wife, finds a great thing.’ I’m not waiting on him to find me though. If he finds me well and good. If he never finds me, also well and good. Why? I’m happily single. Let’s get to it shall we?
You’ll hear all these wonderful ideas about how you can be happily single like set goals, go to nature, book a vacation, date yourself…and so many others. They aren’t bad. They are actually wonderful ideas. Problem, they are only practical if the happiness radiates from within.
You’ll find yourself practicing all these things, end up getting temporary happiness from a short weekend getaway only to return to your two room apartment or better/worse yet your parent’s house and become sadder than you left. On your hands you’ll have wasted time, money and a sadder you. We don’t want that, do we?
You can only take yourself on a vacation if you are happy on the inside. There aren’t a number of vacation places that can bring you the amount of happiness you need. If you don’t have it on the inside, you won’t have it on the outside. So, all these lists on how to be happily single may not apply to the day to day single of our time. I’ll give you an example about myself.
I don’t have a coin to my name. Yes, I’m broke. Though I don’t want to say it out loud, I am. How then am I supposed to afford a three day weekend vacation to Hawaii when I can’t even feed my cat? Ps: I don’t have a cat.
I can’t even afford to take care of a cat. Do you see what I’m driving at? If I don’t have money according to some of these lists, this means that I cannot be happily single according to them. That is the wrong idea of happiness. Happiness doesn’t come from a vacation to the Bahamas. It doesn’t come from buying myself a Ferrari.
If I’m not happy on the inside, I’ll just fill my Ferrari with tears anyway which might lead me to crashing or never leaving the house at all to drive said Ferrari.
There’s a list that I saw which suggested that one of the ways to be happily single is to practice and enjoy solo sex. How’s that supposed to make me happy? Solo sex which in this case is masturbation in my opinion will only make you more unhappy. Why? Because you know there’s a real thing out there and you’re out here settling for half-baked machines and unreal engines or mortars.
For real, solo sex in my opinion is a haux. Hear me out, I’m a Christian alright. We don’t do that. Besides, it’s embarrassing. At least it is in my head. You see yourself force yourself to do things and then pretend to get satisfaction from a machine when you can actually get it from a man who should be only and only your husband. I don’t condone sex out of marriage. It’s beneath you as a woman and a Christian if you are one.
Secondly, as a certified virgin who’s extremely happy with her singleness and life in general, I’ve always imagined what danger solo sex could do my most prized possession at this point in my life. Yes, I do research. I find out things from the internet. Sex Toys as people like to call them are dangerous. That’s a fact. Plastic, rubber or whatever that thing is, sticking it up your privates must cause some pain at some point.
As a woman, who loves her lady parts to death, pain is not on the table for me. This means that having not practiced solo sex before I would be a very sad single lady but like I’ve said, I’m not. I got the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart to share.
So, if solo sex ain’t the reason for my happiness as a single woman, what is? We got some explaining to do.
As a hopeless romantic you’d expect that I wouldn’t write such a blog series. Oh, how wrong you’d be in your expectation. I’m the right person to write this book. I love love. It’s beautiful. It’s cute. It gives me all the butterflies. You don’t know the number of book boyfriends I should have by now but I’m keeping it together, hanging by the thread literally. Just kidding.
I enjoy seeing a couple madly in love with each other. If that couple is married, gosh, yas! They have my utmost respect and “awwws” to boot. You already know the reason why I’m single. I’ve denied a few Mr. Wrongs and Mr. Right has never come my way. I don’t mind it one bit. I have all these lovely happy couples to enjoy love through.
I love love though not enough to throw myself into a pit where it’s not just because I’m looking for it. I believe I already have the love I need. When the person I must give it to comes my way, I’ll share some of it with him. As simple as that.
Enjoy this read as much as enjoyed writing it. See you in the next part of this blog series. What do you think I’m going to talk about next under this series?
And That’s On Life, Periodt! 